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4 Steps to Build Foundational Self-Love

by | Sep 9, 2020

4 Steps to Build Foundational Self-Love

by | Sep 9, 2020

4 Steps to Help You Build a Strong Foundation of Self-Love

Welcome to September! I know I’m about a week late, but I felt this was a really good time to post what I am going to be focusing on this month.  

For me, September is going to be all about tapping into my vulnerability through these upcoming steps, so I am able to reach the foundations of my sense of self.,

When I build a strong foundation of honest, authentic self-love, I can then jump back into my goals as a stronger, more successful version of myself.  

I have been in a bit of a funk lately. July was a really high energy month full of ultra focused flow and creation. I started to hit some bumpy roads in August that threw me off a little bit. 

Too often, when I am in a state of creative flow, I tend to forget about my body, the very vessel that enables the creativity to be realized. And then, because I put my long term needs on the back burner, I inevitably crash.  

3 lessons I learned when I took a self-care break:

  1. If I track when I have low moments, I can prepare for them before they come.  
  2. Batching my time and creation will benefit me when those low moments come.  
  3. Sometimes I just need to cry.  

It’s when I just let myself cry that I was able to breakthrough my understanding of foundational self-love.  

What is Foundational Self-Love?  

Just a like house needs a strong foundation before it can be built into the home of your dreams, you also need a strong foundation before you can step into your dream life. If you spend too much time in your upper, creative state, and ignore the physical, grounding needs of your body, you will eventually crash, like I did.  

Maybe you have recently, too, and I want you to know that it is ok to feel sad, it is ok to feel vulnerable, and it is ok to love yourself through it all.  If you get to a point where you feel burnt out, and and feel like your goals and productivity are not in alignment, then it is the perfect time to remind yourself to get back to your roots, or foundation

Foundational self-love is deeper than just reminding yourself of your why, and deeper than any one of your goals.

Foundational self-love is about the biggest goal of all—being in complete alignment with your authentic self. And from there, all other goals will be realized.  

To ensure that we can maintain a high vibration kind of life that fulfills and fuels us, we need to strengthen our foundation with honest and vulnerable self-love, rooted in forgiveness.  This is a forgiveness focused approach, after all!  

We’ve scratched the surface before when discussing motivation, being overwhelmed, and setting up nightly and morning routines. But today, I’m here to dig deep, all the way down to our foundations.  

3 Steps to Build Foundational Self-Love: 

The 4 steps to building foundational self-love are one, be vulnerable with yourself. two, give yourself a hug. three, focus on your root chakra. four, celebrate you.

Building Foundational Self-Love Step 1: Be Vulnerable with Yourself 

In order to go back to your foundation and nurture self-love, you have to break down the walls keeping you from getting there.  Being vulnerable with yourself enables you to face some feelings you may have been trying to suppress and push past.

Refusing to face those difficult feelings has played a part in preventing you from moving forward in the first place.  

For me, this is usually when I need a really good cry. And good is a term I use lightly, because it is really a deep, ugly, wailing cry where I have to hydrate afterward.  But I have also released a lot of tension that I didn’t even know I was holding. I have released to the point where I am standing at my foundation, and I can begin to give myself the love that I didn’t know I needed.  

“Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness.” 

Steve Maraboli

Of course, this type of emotional processing is not something you can just turn on and check off your to do list.  The key is to be aware that you are in need of some vulnerability, and cultivate an open, safe, and accepting mindset

First step to building foundational self-love is to allow yourself to be vulnerable and face the hard feelings.

Ways to create a welcoming space for vulnerability:

  • Clear your schedule
  • Watch comfort movies
  • Bake brownies, eat a pint of ice cream…or both
  • Drink something warm, maybe with marshmallows
  • Create a nest of comfort
  • Take a long shower or bath

Get deep in your self-care comfort levels. And soon you might just be hit with an emotional breakthrough. When it comes, let yourself ride that wave. This is the key to being vulnerable. Let your emotions wash over you, and process what needs to be processed. 

Mine happened when I was watching Kissing Booth 2 on Netflix. It was unexpected, and a little embarrassing, but I embraced it for the release that was needed. 

When you’re in this space, don’t be afraid to ask for help, especially if it feels like too much to handle on your own. This is the hardest step because you need to dig all the way into your foundation, a place you may have been out of touch with for a long time. I am not a professional, and I can only offer my own experiences. Therapy has been an extremely helpful and safe sounding board throughout all my tough moments.

Being vulnerable with yourself can be scary when you’re avoided feeling some emotions. But it’s important to remember that real, big, meaningful growth doesn’t happen when we are comfortable.  

Building Foundational Self-Love Step 2: Give Yourself a Hug

I’m drained even writing about facing those hard emotions and allowing myself to feel vulnerable. That’s exactly why the next step to building back a foundational self-love is to give yourself a great. big. hug.

It might feel cheesy at first, especially if it’s not something you do often, or ever, but I promise you, it will feel really great. Go ahead, wrap your arms around your chest and give yourself the biggest, longest hug you need.  

Second step to building foundational self-love is to give yourself a great big hug, and send all that love inward.

How many times do you give your children or loved ones hugs, but you never think about yourself? It’s a little bit like the “put your oxygen mask on before you help others” concept on an airplane.  Give yourself all that love that you send out to others. You deserve it just as much as those you send your love out to!

Building Foundational Self-Love Step 3: Focus on Your Root Chakra

Chakras are energy centers in our bodies, and the root chakra is where our grounding energy is. When channeled, we are tapped into safety and security, both physically and emotionally.  

Your Root Chakra is the foundation upon which the rest of your energy lies.

If you feel disconnected from yourself and your goals, it is important to ensure you are first grounded and secure in your self.  This is especially important when rebuilding your foundation. Once you’ve gotten to this step, you have broken down your internal walls and allowed yourself to be vulnerable, and you are now giving yourself the love you deserve. Now, it is time to strengthen your foundation so you can start functioning at a long lasting, high vibration.

Third step to building foundational self-love is to focus on your root chakra, and build self-love from the bottom, up.

Ways to strengthen your root chakra:

  • Root chakra guided meditations
  • Grounding yoga
  • Take a silent walk outside (barefoot if possible!)
  • Access the healing energy of root chakra crystals
  • Dance, like no one is watching.

Whatever it is you choose to do, take a moment to fully exist in your connection with the ground beneath your feet. Stand and breathe for a moment, and feel how you are a part of the earth, and the earth is part of you. Allow the energy to channel from your root into the earth, and back. Keep the connection even as you move again, and reconnect as often and regularly as possible.

You are connected, you are important. It is ok to be sad and vulnerable, because it is what brings you back to yourself. Center into foundational self-love, and you are about to come back stronger than ever. 

Building Foundational Self-Love Step 4: Celebrate YOU.

You’re doing the work, you’re coming back into self-love. You’re being vulnerable and forgiving of yourself.  Now it’s time to do something that is fun and intentional. This is where the commercial world of self-care meets the spiritual world of self-love.

Emotional breakthroughs and rebuilding are emotionally draining, and so now it’s time to give yourself the credit you deserve, and celebrate joyfully.  

Appreciate yourself for the amazing human that you are.  Sit in the bath with your most fancy bath bomb and a glass of wine, buy a new subscription box, get a pedicure, or do all three! 

Your path might sometimes get rocky, but that doesn’t mean it’s over. It’s actually an opportunity to return to and honor your foundational self-love.  

Fourth step to building foundational self-love is to take a reel moment to celebrate you and your amazing self.

When you have those low moments, focus on the lessons that come from them. And the coolest part? You now have the tools once you are ready to do the work and give yourself that forgiveness and love that you deserve!

I want to conclude by giving you all the credit for the low times you have gone through, and found a way to work your way out of it. I want to give you the credit for doing the work now.  It can be so hard to have that breakthrough and really be vulnerable with yourself, but for me, I know that it is the key piece to being able to move forward with any part of my life.

What you’re feeling is legitimate. And it is ok if you need to take some time and just do the bare minimum. I believe in you, truly.  

How are you going to strengthen your foundational self-love?

Do you struggle with reminding yourself to be vulnerable and give yourself the forgiveness that you deserve? Do you have strategies that have worked for you when reconnecting with your foundation? Comment below!

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